*Pain*

That was one of the most painful sms received on 20th july, 2200hrs

I have been rejected, not.
But i chose to reject myself.
I know i dont fit in.
very much i would like to be with you bbqing with your friends
but i just dont feel good
i feel useless
Feel sorry for you to have this kind of bf..

Very much i would like to join you guys in Bintan
but i know i dont fit in
and i will only have disagreements and create unhappiness
i dont want this to happen
and i rejected myself

and me?
I have no faith
Low self esteem
Low morale
Low dignity
I am pessimistic

what i need?!
I need a shower of love and care and concern.

What i want?
Happiness.

I've always respect people being able to smile widely, cheerfully...

Life is short. Little time we have. Come to think of it, its a waste of time feeling sad, getting angry, feeling miserable, terrible, incorrigible. Life is all about appreciating what we have. Be contented on what we have and can have. Things come and go. The new ones will get old someday and spoil. Then another new one come again. Even i have feelings for my old things. What more can i compare feelings for my friends.

It is easy to say appreciating things we have around us. It is easy to say we are contented with our live. But in actual fact, we are not. Or mayb I am not. Whenever you feel you have achieved something new or high, the next step is always to get something higher of level. So truee but leave that aside.

Im so much more of a emotional person than a materialistic person. Being able to be with around friends that im really comfortable is one of the true happiness i have in life. And you know every meetup sessions lasts for only awhile. Time is precious. Once its gone means it gone. No matter how rich one is, is nv able to buy back time. So have you start learning how to treasure and cherish things around you before they are gone? I havent. Becz its hard. Hard to say goodbye.

So morale of the story? i dunno... Always end up with no conclusion... Just say what i feel like saying = saying the wrong things.. and end up with quarrels... Hahah what is this i dunno....
here's a vid of how i feeling now.........



God.. Where are you??

~ppl eat durian ice-cream i look only
~venue of fighting has changed and yet changed again today~
~washing teeth yesterday was expensive because i deserve it
~Chiam is god

Everything above seems so familiar.
hmmm its like dreams coming true.
Its been years since I last post.
and stil feel like keeping it as picture blog, stil not good with my language, and will never be
And its quite good knowing that none of your friends would have bother to click on your blog link when someone have already MIA so long.. Is it time to continue updating like how i used to?
Or i should carry on MIA-ing? hmmmm

just another 5 more hours. and i'll be off to Taiwan, for the 2nd time!
Not really excited, or maybe becz i always feel i have more responsibility with gf around
hmmm but stil cant wait to disappear and enjoy the cold weather and food there! Woooo

BTH ALR!~
gonna end it off with these 2 vids.
And its for you~ ^_^v





Take care my friend~

* NEW COMP NEW COMP!!!*


I'm getting new comp new comp!! Finally
Have been doing alot of research at home
Found many many interesting parts to buy too Haha
Have look what im gonna buy.
Ppl reading gimme some advice please.


Gigabyte EP45-UD3R



Asus P5Q Pro P45



Was comparing these 2 mobo.
GB can clock higher speed DDR2 at 1366 MHZ while Asus only 1200MHZ
Asus has this express gate which boots up to internet in 5 secs which i dont really need.
Asus has crossfire which i dont need also.
After so many advices i wont even consider getting dual gfx. Hehe
GB has more USB ports at the back
Asus SATA port is crammped all together.
Price wise GB more exp than ASUS by 5bucks only.
So i've decided to get GB.
Is this the reason i should get GB?? if not Pls advice.
Specs pls refer to:
Gigabyte : http://www.gigabyte.com.tw/Products/Motherboard/Products_Overview.aspx?ProductID=2921
Asus : http://www.asus.com/Product.aspx?P_ID=qH6ZSEJ8EPY6HoNU


Intel Core™2 Quad Q9650



Well just preparing for the future.
Get a Quad. After all newer games requires higher and higher specs.
Get ready for vista too. Or windows 7.
Why Q9650? Cz 3Ghz. by then overclock to 4Ghz.
Fsb1333Mhz so should be alright. Haha
Get a Quad. Get a Quad Core!
Core2Extreme and i7 ? I think i dun need la hor
Get so good for what? Lol. need DDR3 oso = ram more EXP.


Gigabyte EP45-UD3R + Quad Q9650 = $749
Gigabyte EP45-UD3R + Quad Q9550 = $663
Gigabyte EP45-UD3R + C2D 8500(3.16Ghz) = $527
Asus P5Q pro P45 + Quad Q9650 = $ 744
Asus P5Q pro P45 + Quad Q9550 = $658
Asus P5Q pro P45 + C2D 8500(3.16Ghz) = $ 521


GeForce GTX 280 1GB



Radeon EAH 4870 1GB





Not going for dual gfx. So nth to worry for SLI or Crossfire.
More gfx = more power consumption = more noise cz more fan
So it was a big issue on GTX280($449) OR GTX285($609).
In the end i think i shld go for GTX 280.
With only 10% increase in performance and lower power consumption
for GTX285 for xtra 160bucks. I think not really worth it la hor?
EAH4870($499) or GTX280($449)
I think GTX280 la hor? why ah? tell me pls.
And GTX 280 which brand to get?? Any rec?? Pls advice.


OCZ PC2 8500 Reaper 2 x 2GB



OCZ PC2 8500 Reaper 1066Mhz ($159)
Worth the buy la hor?


Thermaltake toughpower 750W




Aerocool Horsepower 750W




I think get a 750W Better also la hor?
Anyway need serious REC here.
Cz i really dunno which psu to get.
Andyson doesn't seem to have 750W in singapore leh.
if have i think will get Andyson wan.
So... Thermaltake($199) VS Aerocool($172)
Most prob Thermaltake. becz of the bad reviews of aerocool i read somewhere
But i need serious rec here. Good power box very impt ba. How how Pls advice.


Hard Disk Drive
Should i get 2 hdd???
One a a faster speed for my games
One at slower speed just for my storage. Hmmmmm pls rec too. Lol
Western Digital 500GB 32MB (Caviar Black) ($116)
Western Digital 640GB 32MB (Caviar Black) ($143)
Western Digital 750GB 16MB ($125)
Western Digital 1TB 32MB (Caviar Black) ($212)
What should i do man???
I saw a WD 750GB 32MB Caviar Black somewhere in the net.
But not in fuwell. Or else i will get tt most probably.


Antec 900 ($210)



Antec 900 V2 ($259)





CoolerMaster 690 nVidia Edition ($159)









CoolerMaster HAF932 ($239) price frm Potterhouse($218)








So I've shortlisted 4 casing
Antec900, Antec900V2, CM690nVidia and CM HAF932
Mainly they are in Blue, red and green colour.
All look quite nice and atrractive i think
Antec900 is affordable which makes CM690nVidia even more affordable
And hearing tt CM HAF932 price drops
and its a full tower makes it comparable with other casings.


Antec900, Antec900V2 and CM HAF932 will appear totally BLACK
when the comp is switched off.
Unlike the CM690nVidia it will have green stripes along the casing.
With the green acrylic side window and nVidia Logo.
Nicely done with black and green.
CM690 has very good airflow too.
However when thumbdrive, cameras, etc were plugged into the USB port
which is at the top of the casing, it will look ugly.
Dimension wise bigger than Antec smaller than CM HAF932.


CM HAF 932 has red LEDs with its very military design.
but squarish looks. Too huge for me i think. So dun think will get tt.


Antec 900 V2 it appears all Black.
Even for the casing inside and at the back is in black colour.
Looks seriously damn cool but very exp.
accounting for my parts, powerbox, ram, gfx all black in colour
build into Antec900V2 will look quite cool. ALL BLACK.
Packaging wise i have no worries for the Antec, but look at the CM690
The packaging, chui. But inside not damage la.


There are stil aot of nice and cheaper cases.
Like some of the other models Thermaltake and NZXT.
But i dunno why i just like Antec.
So its either Antec 900 or V2. I dunno
Please some advide..... Lol


For casing spces Refer to:
Antec 900 : http://www.antec.com/Believe_it/product.php?id=MjM=


Antec 900 V2 : http://www.antec.com/Believe_it/product.php?id=NzIy


CM690nVidia : http://www.coolermaster.com/products/product.php?language=en&act=detail&tbcate=17&id=5259


CM HAF932 : http://www.coolermaster.com/products/product.php?language=en&act=detail&tbcate=17&id=5363




So from what i've searched, if i choose.......


Gigabyte ep45 UD3R + Quad Q9650 ($749)
GeForce Leadtek GTX280 1GB ($449)
OCZ PC2 8500 Reaper 1066Mhz 2X2GB ($159)
Thermaltake toughpower 750W ($199)
Western Digital 750GB 16MB ($125)
DVD anyhow cheap one estimated ($40)
Antec 900 ($210)
Total : $1931


I still need a Heatsink confirm. I should be overclocking my comp.
Heat sink budget mayb ($100)
I need a new keyboard probably a razer one? budget mayb ($130)
I need recommendations for Heatsink and Keyboard Hahah.
Is my gfx GTX 280 able to max out its graphic
onmy Monitor View Sonic 19" 2ms 1440x900?
How should i check man?
And a soundcard. Im not really sure if i need it.
Using Altec Lansing ATP3
Haha very old model but good speakers.
Received a Razer barraduda headphone from machy on my last bdae.
When i tried to use it, it has many wires which i didn't get to pluck in
becz of lack in soundcard. Haha
Soundcard budget maybe ($150)


New total : $2311


And with this kind of budget,
somebody online ask me to go i7 more worth it. 0_0
Think Quad enough la hor?
Is there anything else im missing? Pls advice again.




And for those who are going IT show at suntec.
Here's the floor plan if you hate walking around looking for shops.
Level 4.



Level 6.






Till then.
Im going for my night shift liao.
Followed by a fucking family day.
-___-
What we need is rest
Not to support a fucking event. Dumbshit ass.
Im only a NS guy. Why shld i go. -__-

*7th Valentine's Day*


It's our 7th Valentine's day together.
Thanks for my baby.
We went to Carlton hotel and a spa.
Was thinking to go overseas but a lil rush for me.
Had a great short get-away trip there
Really looking forward for more resorts to go to. Hehe..
Hope my baby will be one and only and my last valentine.


Carlton Hotel was damn acessible.
So near to bugis, almost so near to everywhere.
Didn't had trouble looking for lunch and dinner at all.










This was the view directly infront of us. Haha
But doesn't matter much.



















Massage massage. At tanjong katong.
Balinese massage spa or whatever it is called.






Hehe It was masking tt night where we bought them in the afternoon
At Bugis junction.
Watched movie, and called for room service.
Feel so pampered there, how nice...



Alittle Eggy for our breakfast
Why cz we had ALOT of eggggggs....





Exterior look kinda old huH
Was alil disappointed when we walked there to check in
But realised the interior was stil not bad.










Its always the good and enjoyable moments past very fast.
Really enjoyed the stay with my baby.
hope to have manymany more trips like tt with baby soon


I'm posted to JE NPC and i'm like the only one.
So well goOdluck to myself
Shift have already started.
Ytd was first shift. My team so fast kena gan by OO.
Its like my first shift duhhhh -_-
But nvm. Tonight 2nd shift night shift so i go sleep now liao.
Till then... I don't know when i'll update again.
But this time round.... I'll be at home almost everyday :D
NITE PPL!!!..ZZ


I love you baby. Muackz...